Author Shellee Roberts talks bad breakups...
In Crazy, Stupid, Fauxmance, my main characters, Mariely and Cabot get publically and humiliatingly dumped on the same night at the same party. Luckily, I’ve never suffered such a scandalous break up, but I’ve been very unceremoniously dumped. Also, I am the worst breaker-upper ever. Is anyone good at it?
The worst breakup ever that I was a party to, though, happened in college. I was casually dating sweet Boy #1, whom I’d pursued to keep my mind off Boy #2, who was casually dating a girl whom his close friend was interested in but couldn’t date because he already had a long-term (though CRAZY) girlfriend. Coincidentally, said girl and I have the same name, too. Basically, it was Melrose Place in real life.
But, we were all super young and hormones made us bat-shizzat insane, so eventually Boy #2 and I wanted to be together. After one of those all night talking sessions—the kind you only have when you’re young and falling in love—we decided we would break up with our casual others. No fuss, no muss, all very adult-like.
I promptly broke up with sweet Boy #1, which sucked, but I did it, and Boy #2…DID NOTHING. He never said anything to the other girl. At all. And never told me!
Thinking we were free and clear, Boy #2 and I started seeing each other. I was blissfully happy, until we were all at some sporting event I don’t remember when the other girl asked me if he and I were together. That’s when it became clear to me that he had never officially ended it with her, rather very cowardly just said nothing and stopped calling her. Like an epic douchebag!
I should have seen the writing on the wall, but I was too head-over-heels in that way that makes you stupid. He would go on to break my heart, of course. Over and over.
But there was a happy ending to all this melodrama. The other girl was a darling. She eventually started dating the friend who’d had a crazy girlfriend, and we became good friends. We shared an apartment post-graduation and she was in my wedding party when I married Boy #3, the best boy. The one who has never broken my heart.
There are three things (besides her family) that Shellee loves more than Netflix: Dr. Pepper, OTPs, and book boyfriends (I’m looking at you, Gilbert Blythe).
Shellee has been told that her life goal as a writer should be to win prestigious awards that will grant her literary immortality, but as an OG ‘shipper (like, seriously, Tad and Dixie--my first hardcore ship) all she really wants is to create two characters that people love so much they give them a cool mashup name.
Shellee spends her days living the dream with her family in Austin, Texas--and by living the dream she means waking up at the crack of dawn to go to work, chauffeur, walk dogs, do dishes, and fold laundry. At night she gets down to to real business, basking in the warm, blue glow of her computer screen and bringing the stories in her head to life on the page...or watching Veronica and Logan fan videos on YouTube till 2am.
Tomorrow she’s definitely going to kick that procrastination problem to the curb.